Phoebe in Borderland

Disclaimer: Everything you already know is not mine.

Warning: Well, I donÂ’t know yet. Perhaps there is going to be some violence and foul language, but as I have said before not much. I am not that fluent in English! lol!

Now, since you already know that Phoebe didnÂ’t get along with her sisters back then, you will not be surprised to see her expressing bitterness about them! This is a story which tries to explore her feelings so if you think you are offended in any way, please do not read.
But i would really want to hear your opinions.


Phoebe in Borderland

The girl with the long chestnut hair sighed. She was lying on her bed and she was exhausted. Her feet were killing her. She took her shoes off and lied back on the bed again.

Though she was very tired, she couldnÂ’t sleep. Her mind was restless. She struggled to keep her eyes closed but she opened them. Here she was again staring at the ceiling.
“I am sorry, we do not have a job here tailored to your skills, miss. I am really sorry. Perhaps you would like to try again in the future. Maybe we will have a vacancy!”

The emotionless voice resounded in her head.
Tailored to your skills? Yeah! Right! What they meant was that they didnÂ’t think she had any skills. They would never hire a high school graduate, when there were so many college graduates out there begging for jobs. It was so pathetic.

She had been there for four months and things were going from bad to worse. Soon she would have to give up the apartment. It was taking up most of her salary. But she couldn’t go back to them. No! She’d rather die than let them see her fail again. Their look would be “I told you so!” and they would be gloating inside.

She couldnÂ’t stand their eyes. Even if they didnÂ’t speak, even if they didnÂ’t say a word, their eyes would be eloquent.
In their eyes she would be able to see all their disappointment and bitterness. They had never said that she wouldnÂ’t amount to anything, but every inch of their being was yelling that at her. And she couldnÂ’t stand it.

She leaned on her side and reached her hands over to the bedside table. She opened the drawer and took two pictures out of it. They never knew she had taken them with her. Even if they did they would think she had lost them, sloppy and clumsy as she was. The girl pulled them close to her chest and sighed.

She took the one in her hands again and her hazel eyes stared at her intensely as if trying to imprint in her memory every single detail about it.
“Oh, mom! How I wish you were here right now! I could do with your support and love!” she whispered.
This was a picture of a happy moment. It was her mother and her father. It was one of the few pictures she had managed to keep before her grandmother burnt them. She hated her son-in-law and didnÂ’t want to let him have anything to do with the girls.

The girl never understood that. He was their father. And there was no real explanation of why he left. Every time she tried to ask about him, the only thing it earned her was a stern look from her grandmother. Why couldnÂ’t they just accept that she wanted to know about him?

Her mother would have told her all she knew about her father. The girl was certain of that. She was as certain of that as she was of the air she breathed. Her mother was a good person. How she wished she could have known her. If only she was older when she diedÂ… She would remember her.

When she was a little girl she used to have these long discussions with her mother in her mind. Her mother was her secret, imaginary friend. And nobody knew about it. Whenever her older sister or her grandmother scolded her, she would lock herself in her room and talk to her mother. There was no one else she could talk to.

She was Phoebe! The stupid Halliwell. The black sheep. The disgrace to the family.
Of course, they had never phrased it like that, but thatÂ’s what they all meant. Even her other sister who was closer to her age, never understood it. She was compassionate and always tried to support and defend her, but Phoebe felt like she was doing it out of obligation. Her not having anyone else to defend her and all.

Why could they not understand? Her mother was dead, for GodÂ’s sake. She never had the chance to know her. They all had happy, little stories to say about their mother, but her. Her father had left them a little while after her birth. How did they think that made her feel? CouldnÂ’t they tell she was blaming herself for the way he abandoned them? After all, it was after her birth that he left!

Did they ever stop to think that? No! They just whined about how bad he was.
And what about her? Phoebe? They never saw her as Phoebe. For them she could not have a personality of her own. Especially her grandmother. It was like she didnÂ’t think she was a person of her own.

She saw her as her daughterÂ’s last trace. Phoebe was PattyÂ’s last child, therefore her last trace. They treated her as if she was supposed to be her. Be Patty. Be her mother. CouldnÂ’t they tell how painful that was? She wasnÂ’t Patty1 Patty was perfect! She couldnÂ’t be perfect. Her mother wasnÂ’t an orphan and her father didnÂ’t abandon her.Her mother didnÂ’t have sisters that resented her. In other words, her life was a lot better.

I wanted a mother, I needed a mother, I didnÂ’t need to be my mother.
How could they expect her to be like her? People with imperfect lives couldnÂ’t be perfect. They had flaws. Everyone has flaws. Or were they forgetting this?
Tears were trickling down her cheeks now and she made no effort to wipe them off, lost in her thoughts.

I wanted them to love me. Love me for me. For Phoebe. They only loved me for what I represented to them. Their motherÂ’s last trace. They only loved me for what they were expecting me to be, not for what I actually was!

How I wanted them to love me. CouldnÂ’t they see how desperate I was for their love, for their approval? An approval that never came as long as I was not walking in my motherÂ’s footsteps.
An approval that will never come, she thought bitterly.

It was early in junior high school that she realized she could not live like this anymore. She wanted their attention. She wanted them to see her for who she really was. A person with flaws and weaknesses, yes, but also a person eager to love and be loved. Eager to let her sisters enter in her personal space and share her thoughts with them, no matter how stupid they might have been. But they never bothered to come.

And her grades started falling. Her morale, too. She had no will to get on with her life. Prue, Piper were all perfect students. They always got straight AÂ’s. She could get AÂ’s too, if she tried, but she just didnÂ’t see the point.

Then she found a way to attract their attention. She constantly went into trouble. She stayed out late, she didnÂ’t study, she was indifferent to them. It was all an act.

At first, it was just a way to test them. How would they react? Would they love her the same or would they find the perfect excuse to shut her out of their lives, under the pretense that her mother would never do anything like this?

Oh, yes. She tested them. And they failed the test. After a few times, they started giving up on her. She could feel it. She could see it in their eyes.

So, that was it? So much for their love! CouldnÂ’t they see just how hurt she was? How she wished she could be a part of their hearts, just as they were a part of hers?

No, they obviously couldnÂ’t. So, Phoebe started giving up on them. Or rather she made it look that way, so that they didnÂ’t understand how they hurt her.
She wouldnÂ’t let them see that their opinion mattered to her. She wouldnÂ’t give them that satisfaction. Was she selfish and cruel? Maybe! But that was the only way she could think of to protect herself from the hurt and the pain inside. Maybe it was the wrong way, but then again she had no one to instruct her. No one to teach her of how to block those feelings out and not hurt anymore.
They would never know. For them she would be the flippant little disgrace of a sister that happened to share a house with them.
She was cheerful all the time. Hell, there is no worry about the future if you don’t expect anything out of it! ‘No expectation, no frustration’. That was her motto and it worked. At least for her.

She freed her mind from worries that didnÂ’t mean anything.
Only now mattered.
They thought she was promiscuous? Well, maybe she was. What was wrong about searching for love? The love she couldnÂ’t find in her own house? Why was that so wrong?
“They are just fooling you, Phoebe” Prue had told her. “You should be more careful about the guys you hang out with!”
Yeah, well, at least they thought she was a nice person. At least they treated her as if she was her own person. They thought she was frivolous. God, that couldnÂ’t be further from the truth. Millions of thoughts were crossing her mind. But she erased them.

Cheerful was the way they expected her to be anyway. Nobody likes solemn people and Phoebe wanted to be liked. She was so desperate for love and attention that perhaps she was fooling herself about their intentions.

Clay was the only man that actually tried to understand her the way she was. He knew many things about her. She trusted him. He knew her past and her troubled teen years and he wasnÂ’t repulsed. Others were repulsed or they didnÂ’t give a shit.

Anyway, he was out of her life now. And she was out of her sistersÂ’ life. Phoebe knew that is what they wanted anyway.
The tears continued to trickle down her cheek, only now she lifted her hand to wipe them away. ThatÂ’s when she noticed the time.

“Oh, shit!” She exclaimed. She would be late for work. She forced herself to rise from the bed and go to the bathroom. She leaned over to the washbasin and let water run down her face, washing her tears away. She lifted her head back up and wiped her face with a towel. The eyes that stared back at her from the mirror were red and swollen. She could barely recognize them as her own.

“God, I am a mess! How can I go to work looking like this?” She wondered.

She quickly put on a mini skirt and put on some make up and blush. She had to look beautiful. A flippant young girl with no worries to trouble her stupid little brain.

At the bar she had to be a bimbo. That is what they wanted her to be. A waitress isnÂ’t supposed to be clever or hurt. She just had to be there ready to put up with the stupid jokes the drunks made.

“It’s time for the cheerful Phoebe again” She whispered solemnly.

She took her keys from the table and glanced around the apartment. She saw the creaky bed, the leaking pipes, the humidity but most importantly she saw the empty rooms.
And deep inside she knew that wasnÂ’t a life for Phoebe Halliwell. And deep inside she hoped that this was not what she deservedÂ…

Phoebe in Borderland – Part Two

She decided to walk instead of catching a cab. It wouldnÂ’t be faster or safer, but it would help her let some steam off. She smiled at how weak she was a few minutes earlier.
Why was she allowing them to get to her still so much? It wasnÂ’t fair. They were probably having fun right now, not thinking about her, and she was there, out in the cold late-October wind, having to walk to work. And what a work that was! She was a f***ing waitress at a bar.
Yeah! At least she did get free drinks! That was on the pros side. As for the cons sideÂ… Well, the list was from here to Italy!
The girl with the chestnut hair quickened her pace. It was cold and she was a bitÂ…underdressed.
The bar was only a block away now and Phoebe knew that the sad expression she had on her face just now had to disappear the second she would walk in.
She saw the cars and the motorcycles parked outside the bar and sighed. The same old thing over and over again. The same people, the same drunk people who would try to get their hands all over her, every chance they got!

“Hi, Luke! She greeted the owner of the bar, her boss. She quickly went behind the bar and took off her jacket, revealing a sleeveless black leather top and her skirt to match.

“Yay!” She heard the three men who were sitting at the bar say. “The doll is back! We were beginning to wonder where you were. Hell, I even thought of going out to look for you!” The biggest of them informed her.

“Oh, right! You would do that, wouldn’t you?” She uttered trying to hide her boredom and the fact that she was being cynical.
“Oh, yeah! I would do that doll! I would do it for you! Just like you would do things for me, now, wouldn’t you?” The man insisted.

Phoebe knew where this discussion was leading to, and it wasnÂ’t welcome. She sighed and took a look at him. She finally decided to be diplomatic.
“Well, what I will do for you right now, is serve you drinks! Anything you like! Just state your preference!” She forced herself to smile.
“Just state my preference, huh? So, you cater for all tastes?” The man went on hitting on her, laughing along with his idiot friends.
“Ok! We both know this isn’t appropriate! So, just ask for a drink or else I’ll have another one take your order. Ok?” She said emphatically.
“Oh, so you are giving me the brush off, now? Who do you think you are, you bitch? You are getting paid for serving me and that is what you’re gonna do! Do you hear me? Now bring your ass here and be a good girl!”, the man yelled.
And no one noticed it.
The girl couldnÂ’t believe the degree of stupidity in that manÂ’s head! She tried to catch the eyes of her employer but he was further to her left, talking to friends and didnÂ’t hear what was going on. She realized she had no one to turn to. And she started feeling very uncomfortable. She knew her limits and she shouldnÂ’t let things get out of hand.
“Ok, then! What are you guys gonna have?” Phoebe asked them in her most polite manner.
“That’s better” He chuckled. “That would be beers for me and my friends… for now” He stressed staring at her bosom. “And make it fast!”
“Right!” she smiled. She quickly filled three big glasses with beer and took them to the group. She made an effort to ignore the way they were looking at her. It was making her sick. She wasn’t sure what to do.

So, she just went out from behind the bar and to a group of a people who had just come in. She took their orders and as she was turning around to go to the bar and prepare them, she spotted Clay.
It was Clay! What was he doing there? Was he checking up on her, again? She had told him not to bother her anymore. He betrayed her when she had specifically asked him not help a friend of his steal and he went on and did it anyway! He told her he was obliged, but that didnÂ’t make it any better. He was not to be trusted. She gave him a glare and went behind the bar.
She knew she was lying to herself, though. The truth was that she felt him very close and she never stopped caring for him.
Actually she was kinda flattered to see he was persistent. And it was good to see a person she knew in there. He could be the one to turn to, if things went bad. She smiled despite herself.
“What was that? Are you smiling at that fellow, doll? What, we aren’t good enough for you? I thought we were your favorite customers!” The leader of the annoying group said.
“I am not smiling. I am just being polite!” She answered him defensively. She knew she shouldn’t provoke him.
“Oh, polite? Ok, I can be polite! … My name is Gabe, doll, what’s yours?” He asked Phoebe.
“Phoebe. My name is Phoebe! Satisfied?” she retorted.
“Ah, Phoebe!” he laughed. “Wasn’t she an amazon or something in some mythology?”
Phoebe looked at him. He hadnÂ’t stricken her as someone who would read mythology. Then again, he spoke of amazons. That was like women, free running around in leather, holding spears and stuff. It was boobs and gunsÂ…All a man of his level asked for.

“Yeah! And that would be the Greek mythology!” she told him, eager to let the whole thing die out.
“Ah, a studious chick! You didn’t seem like it doll!”
“Well, appearances can be very deceptive!” She tittered as she took the orders to the group of newcomers.

She then, went over to Clay, trying her best not to let her emotions show. She knew she could do it. It took years of experience in the Halliwell manor, but she could do it.
“Hello! What would you like me to bring you?”
“How about your awesome butt next to me?” He joked and as he saw Phoebe’s look growing stern he added “Well, whisky would be just fine. Straight up!”.

Phoebe returned behind the bar and opened the bottle of whisky.
As she was pouring some in a glass, she heard the same annoying man say” I don’t like you to be polite to other men, doll. Got it? I will be your only customer from now on”
“God his breath stinks alcohol” Phoebe thought. He was drunk. Why wouldn’t he just take his dead-bit friends and leave. She couldn’t handle it much longer.
Then, suddenly a thought crossed her mind. Clay was there to protect her! What would be a greatest way to find out whether he honestly cared for her or not? Would he be upset or jealous? Would he stand up for her? LetÂ’s see! She thought.

“Ok, I’ll keep that in mind. Now, is there anything else I can do for you guys?” She smiled, watching Clay the whole time.
“Yeah! You can walk out of the bar with my friends and me right now. We can go to a motel and have some private fun, doll! What do you say?”
Holy shit! He was serious. Well, what did she expect? He was drunk. She decided to evade them.
“I say it is not private when three are involved! Besides, I am not interested!” she answered him, looking meaningfully at his friends. What better way to split them up and send them back where they came from?
“Oh, no! Wherever I go, my friends go and vice versa!” He said. “And what the hell do you mean you are not interested, huh? I am not good enough for you? You know what your problem is? You have no respect! And I’m gonna teach you some”
The man was angry, mad and he was drunk. Phoebe knew he was dangerous and she had to do something, but his hand had grabbed hers and it hurt. She was almost paralyzed by fear and pain and no one was giving a shit. Everyone just stared.
Then, suddenly she felt the manÂ’s grip loosen until he didnÂ’t hold her anymore. Phoebe opened her eyes and saw the man on the floor, his hand on his eye and Clay standing over him, almost trembling with anger.
“She said no, pal? Are you deaf? Or just stupid?” Clay yelled.
The man and his group of friends left the bar but not before their leader told Phoebe
“This isn’t over, sweetheart! You’ll be seeing a lot of me! This I swear!”
Clay run to her and hugged her asking her if she is ok. She told him she was, though she wanted nothing more than run in his arms again and forget about her fears and pain.
He said nothing more and he stayed at the bar for about two hours more. Just watching her, with the tender eyes of his. Then he left. Everyone had left. Her boss left, too and gave her the keys to lock the door, before she left.
She quickly set things in order and then took her purse and put on her jacket. If it was cold when she came, it would be twice as cold now that it was so late.
She walked out and held out her right hand with the key to lock the door.
ThatÂ’s when she felt it.
A hand around her waist, pulling her violently and another one covering her mouth.
She struggled to break free, but the attacker was too strong.
His breath smelled of alcohol.
“Hey, doll! Remember me?” He said, before hitting her head against the hard door and everything faded to black…

Phoebe in Borderland - Part Three

The girl with the chestnut hair moaned. Her head was killing her and her vision was blurry. She blinked hoping that it would get her to see more clearly but it didnÂ’t.
For a few moments she was in a blissful oblivion. She didnÂ’t remember what had happened. She could only feel pain, pain in her head, her eyes, her arms and legs. Pain everywhere.
And then it hit her. Why would she feel so much pain, unless what she thought was just an unpleasant dream, just a nightmare, was true. Was her reality.
She shivered as she started remembering the whole incident. That awful big man hitting on her shamelessly, even though she told him she wasnÂ’t interested.

Gabe, was it? Ugh! Phoebe remembered his stinking breath close to her face and it almost made her puke!
She was regaining consciousness gradually now and everything was coming back to her.

Oh my God! Her heart froze as she remembered the hands grabbing her and blocking her mouth and the same stinking breath, GabeÂ’s stinking breath whispering
“Hey, doll! Remember me?”.
She opened her eyes wide in yet another attempt to see what was surrounding her, where she was. But she couldnÂ’t see. It was dark and it smelled of humidity, just like a cellar!
She realized she was in a standing position and tried to move, but her arms and legs were tied to something. She tried to move again, but nothing. Her constraints were just too tight.
How long had she been in there? Her shoulders were already beginning to feel numb, supporting her whole body weight while she was unconscious. It hurt standing like that. She had to do something. She had to think. But all she could think was freedom.

All she could think was yell aloud, in the hope of someone hearing her and taking her to safety.
She made another attempt to see what was inside and was relieved to understand that her eyesight was getting better. Still, it was dark. Too dark for her to make out anything. She tried to concentrate and at least find the door. There must be a door, otherwise how was she carried inside?
She spotted a little line of light coming from in front of her and tried to decide whether it was a door. Maybe it was, but did it matter? She wasnÂ’t strong enough to untie herself anyway.
The thought of him coming in and hurting her made her sick to her stomach, but most importantly it filled her being with fear. A fear like no other she had experienced before.
She had been afraid before, afraid of not having a mother, fear of her father abandoning her, fear of her family giving up on her. Fears that became a realityÂ…
Would that fear materialize, too? She wanted to scream, just scream and scream until her voice grew hoarse, but she knew that it would be to no avail.

It didnÂ’t take a genius to understand that she was locked in some sort of a basement. No one would hear her if she yelled. Only her captor and he wouldnÂ’t care. Maybe he would even enjoy it. Having her there. The woman who stood up to him, who dared to reject him, at his mercyÂ…
Panic was taking over her now. She used to think she was so strong she could deal with anything. She had lived without her familyÂ’s love for so long she couldnÂ’t even remember. It takes strength to just put aside your bitterness and insecurity and just start a new life. And she had found that strength. That strength was failing her now.
She started crying. She had no doubt Gabe would hurt her bad. He was drunk and she was weak.
She started shaking her whole body and move uncontrollably, hoping her constraints would loosen, but more to let out her fear.
She knew no one would be able to hear her but now screaming seemed like a good idea. A great idea actually! So, she screamed again and again.
“Help! Somebody help me! Help please! Somebody!”
But no one came to her rescue. Nobody cared and slowly for the second time in her life after her rejection by her family, she started giving upÂ….

“Please God…Help me!”
Her own voice resounded in the humidity of the basement and came back at her, bringing no help...

****************************
Her throat felt sore. She had been yelling for what could be hours or days. She had really lost track of time. To her it was dark. Outside it could be shining; it could be raining, but here it was just dark. Everlasting darkness and fear.
Where was he? What was he doing? Was he just gonna leave her there starve to death?
Maybe it would be better if he did.
Phoebe had almost come to terms with what was about to happen. She expected him to come in any moment and ask her to shut up.
But he didnÂ’t.
What was the game he was playing? She had prepared herself to yell at him, try to hit him in any way she could. That way, maybe she would feel better. She would have someone, something tangible to fear and hate and try to overcome.
Now, she had nothing but her thoughts, which were even scarier than reality. The doubts in her mind and the uncertainty were driving her insane.
She could almost sigh when the door opened and Gabe walked in.

“Hey, doll? Aren’t you tired of screaming yet? ‘Cause you know it was starting to get on my nerves, but my good friend, Stan, here told me it would be better if we just let you wear yourself out”

“Yeah! Less work for us” A tall, blonde guy put in. A guy she recognized to be one of Gabe’s friends at the bar.
“But more pleasure!” A third guy interrupted Stan, showing Phoebe the whip he held in his hands.
“Oh God! Not all three of them! No! Just let me die! I can’t live this. Please just take me now, because I know I can’t survive this!”

“Please God!” Phoebe whispered like a prayer. A prayer she knew wouldn’t save her from this…

Phoebe in Borderland – Part Four

Phoebe closed her eyes, not wanting to watch this. She kept her eyes shut, hoping that if she didn’t ‘witness’ it, it wouldn’t happen to her.
She knew what was about to happen and she knew she couldnÂ’t handle it.
She wanted to yell, she wanted to scream out to them, to swear, to call them bad names. She wanted to say “Sick bastards! What right did you have to just take me in your basement- or whatever the hell that is- like you own me! Like I am part of your property?”

She just wanted to tell them how much she hated them, right in their horrible faces. She wanted to hurt them with her words as much as they were going to hurt her with their hands. But the words didnÂ’t come out of her mouth.
Instead she felt a lump in her throat, growing steadily larger by the minute. Growing so large that she thought in a little while, she wouldnÂ’t be able to contain it and her throat would just explode and break in thousand little pieces.
And maybe it would be better if it happened. It would end her torment.
“What? No shining repartee? No witty remark? No offending comment? Oh, doll! You’ve got me so disappointed. Your words at the bar gave me something to think upon!” She heard Gabe’s voice.
“Something to think upon? Oh please!” Phoebe thought, “Gabe you just don’t have the brains to do that!”
She wanted to spit the words to his face, but she kept silent.
“Yes, our little mouse is silent. Let’s see if we can do something about it!? She heard the third man say.

And as she remembered the whip in his hands, she knew instantly what he was referring to.
She kept her eyes shut even harder.
“Hey, not to the face! You don’t want to mar her beauty now, do you?” Stan put in sarcastically, taking the whip himself.
And the first blow came. At first she thought he would hit her in the chest or the abdomen, but no! He knew her legs were more vulnerable, exposed as they were by her mini skirt.
And the leather strips of the whip just hit her and hit her, cutting through her flesh, drawing blood and causing her immense pain.
After a while her legs were covered with blood as the whip cut in deeper and deeper.
She didnÂ’t want to scream. She didnÂ’t want to cry. She was going to, anyway in the end and Phoebe didnÂ’t want to give them the satisfaction from the start.
But soon, tears started wetting her eyes, falling gracefully down her pallid cheeks.
She could hear the sound of the whip as it cut through the air and then through her flesh. She could hear the attackersÂ’ laughter and she could hear the sound of her own screaming, the sound of her own screams as it resounded in the basement, reflected to every wall and then coming back to her, magnified, in a relentless domino -effect of constant pain.
“Well, well, well! I was beginning to miss your sweet voice. I was wondering when you’d decide to let yourself be heard again!” Gabe chuckled.
And now she couldnÂ’t keep it inside any longer.
“You sick bastard! Who do you think you are? What gives you the right to kidnap me, bring me in this shithole and treat me like this? What the hell do you want from me?” She asked him in a less stable or strong voice than she wanted.
“What do I want? You know what I want! I want to hurt you! I want to teach you some respect!” He answered her as he slapped her face with such force that Phoebe felt her head spinning.
“You sick f**k! You pathetic loser! You know nothing about me! You are nothing but a loser!” She told him.

“Oh, I know all there is to know. I know you have no family here. They are in another town. But even if they were near, you think they wouldn’t give a damn about what is happening to you, and I take your word for it. You see, Phoebe no one will come looking for you. Because nobody cares.
See me? I have two friends standing next to me. Who do you have? No one! So, tell me Phoebe? Which one of us qualifies as a loser?”

Tears started falling down harder PhoebeÂ’s cheeks now, because she knew he was right.
“Help me! Please, someone!” She cried under her breath, still not loud enough to be heard.
“What was that doll? Stan asked her curiously.
He approached her and put his left profile close to her lips to hear what she was whispering.
Nothing would give him more pleasure than have her beg him.
Phoebe opened her eyes and she snapped!
She opened her mouth and closed it tightly around his ear. She clenched her teeth, cutting through his flesh, tasting his blood. Just putting her teeth deeper and deeper through his skin.
She could hear him as he shrieked in pain and shook uncontrollably. He was taken by surprise.
She knew it was nothing compared to what they were going to do to her, but that very moment it felt like a triumph over them and a smile rested on her face.
And then for the first time in a long while, Phoebe Halliwell started hoping againÂ…

Suddenly, she felt a thrust in her abdomen and an excruciating pain that she could swear could cut her in half. And she let go of Stan.
“You f***ing bitch! You are gonna pay for this! We were about to have our fun and let you go by tonight. But now we are going to keep you here for days, even weeks. Do you hear me? Weeks!”
She heard him say as he started hitting her with his fists and the whip even more violently.
And her screams resounded in her ears again, until she was once more swallowed into darknessÂ…

Phoebe in Borderland – Part Five

The girl with the chestnut hair opened her eyes. It took a lot of effort to do that, but it made her feel uncomfortable if she couldnÂ’t see her surroundings.
She could barely feel her feet. They were numb and weak. She knew there was no way she could walk, even if she was forced to.
Maybe that is because her feet were not tied up now. They were loose. Perhaps they thought it would be better for the blood circulation, Phoebe thought to herself, unsure of whether it was an act of pity or vengeance, since with full blood circulation the bleeding from her wounds would be even worse.
Her arms were still tied up as tightly as they were before though, and as Phoebe remembered how she had bitten Stan she was surprised they hadnÂ’t gagged her or something.
Then again, she couldnÂ’t do anything if she was unconscious, could she?
She tried to move her upper torso, because it felt stiff hanging from her shoulders for so many hours Â… or days? Phoebe couldnÂ’t really tell how much time had passed by! The only thing she knew for sure was that she was hungry.
Actually she was so famished she would kill for a burger. But knew better than to ask anything from them or allow them to see just how bad she was.
It wasnÂ’t like they would take her to the hospital!
Ignoring the empty feeling of her stomach, she noticed that the door was open and light was coming in. It wasnÂ’t completely dark anymore and that was soothing. Darkness frightened her, not in itself, but because she didnÂ’t know what to expect.

She tried to see through the door, but no matter how hard she stretched she couldnÂ’t. She decided to stop trying and let herself just hang downwards again.
She quickly gathered all the information she had. She knew that she was in a kind of a basement that smelled of alcohol and she knew her captors. If she ever got away from them she would recognize them in no time. Their faces were forever imprinted in her mind.

She was startled when she heard noises coming closer. Someone was coming to check up on her most probably and Phoebe decided to act as if she was still unconscious. She closed her eyes and tried to tame her pounding heartbeat. She knew she was in this all by herself and it was she who should find a way out.
She doubted this was even possible, but the remembrance of herself biting Stan was encouraging. All she had to do was catch them off guard, though this was harder than it sounded, since they would be twice as careful and distrustful.
Well, you know what they say. Once bitten, twice shy!
Phoebe smiled despite of herself at this and was amazed as to where this emotional strength was coming from. She was famous for her sarcastic jokes, especially when she was nervous, but this was no ordinary situation.
She heard heavy footsteps coming closer and a hand touching her face and lifting her chin up.
She knew her breathing had to sound normal if she wanted to trick them into believing she was unconscious, but she just wasnÂ’t calm enough.
She heard him chuckle.
“Open your eyes now! I know you are awake! Open them!” he commanded.
And Phoebe had no choice but to comply if she wanted to get through this.
She opened her eyelids, only to see the figure of a hateful man, Gabe.
“That’s better. You know you got us all worried yesterday. Stan went to hospital to get stitches! He isn’t that grateful!” He laughed to himself.
“He will show you exactly the way he feels later. How are you feeling? Are you hungry?” Gabe showed concern.
Phoebe wanted to yell” Yes! Yes! Just give me something to eat”, but she decided she wouldn’t let him know that.
Gabe sighed.” Of course you are hungry you ‘ve had no food and no water! I’ll go get you something to eat!” He informed her as he rushed out of the room.
“Wait a minute? Why do you even care if I’m hungry! You and your friends nearly killed me yesterday and you want to feed me all out of sudden?”
“Well, yeah! We wouldn’t like you to die before your second day with us, ends! We are going to spend a lot of time together!” He winked at her.
Phoebe thought she was going to vomit. She has been with them for two days now? That meant it was like what, October 26? It was late at night on October 24 that they had captured her.
She couldnÂ’t believe it has been almost two days and no one was searching for her.
Her boss would be pissed off, but everyone knows how easily waitresses are substituted. It wasnÂ’t like they needed any extra skills.
Clay was discouraged and as for her sisters, well no suspicious thought would cross their mind, since she frequently let a lot of days pass her by before she called them back.
She assessed her options. She had to stay alive for as long as possible. Only then was there a chance of her getting out of there.
Someone was coming into the room again and Phoebe thought it was Gabe, but it was the third man, whose name she hadnÂ’t caught.
He took a long look at her and then approached her. His eyes were dark and solemn. He took a step closer and brought his face next to his.
Phoebe heard him inhaling noisily as if smelling her perfume. He reached out his hands and stroke her hair almost shyly. “So silky!” She heard him mumble. He then became more confident as he let his hand make its way to her cheeks and lips. Phoebe was ready to bite him, if he was stupid enough to let his hand linger any longer there.

However, the man grinned at her removing his hand as if remembering something. He once again placed his hand on her face and then let it travel all the way down to her neck and neckline.
The girl sucked in a breath as she watched his expression change. Lust was in his eyes and it scared her.
He could tell she was repulsed, Phoebe knew he understood that, because he was watching at her face as he did that. And it surprised her because he almost withdrew his hand, as if caring whether she wanted this or not.
The girl with the chestnut hair gave him a painful look, hoping it will work. That man was only guided by his lust and Gabe. It was obviously the first time he was doing that and he did not know how to react.
Phoebe decided to take advantage of that.

“Please… I’m hurting so much!” She pleaded him.
The man looked at her, then looked at her badly wounded feet and called out
“Gabe, she doesn’t look so good. Hurry up with that food. Maybe we should untie her, as well. It is not like she is going anywhere” He suggested.
“Yes” she thought inside. If that man untied her maybe she could manage a kick at him and run if she could. She knew she couldn’t run fast, but if she closed the door behind him, then maybe they wouldn’t hear him warning them she is gone and they wouldn’t catch up with her.
Her toes werenÂ’t hurt, but her legs ached. Still if it would save her she would run even if it cost her her legs.
“Please, untie my hands. Can’t you see how much I’m hurting? Please, I can’t take it any longer! I am too weak to walk, please!” She pleaded him again.
She could see hesitation in his eyes, but he was close to be taken in by her.
“Please! I would do anything! Anything for you, if you just untied my hands!” She whispered to him.
The captor glanced at her face, her lips and then her neckline. She was sure he was counting on a sexual favor of some sort, but that wasnÂ’t going to happen!
“In your dreams, pal!” she thought inside.
Then she beamed as he saw him untie her hands. He had untied her left one when Gabe came in and grabbed her hand before she had the chance to hit his friendÂ’s head. He pulled her hair hard and slapped her.
“You little witch! You think you are so smart, don’t you?”
“And, you!” He turned to his friend. “What were you thinking, Curt? Are you crazy? You can’t be too careful with this bitch around you. Never trust her again, you know what I’m saying?” He finished his words.
“So, Curt is the name of the third guy”, Phoebe observed. Maybe it would come in handy later on.
“As for you! No tricks are going to save you! Get it? You are mine!” He shouted at her.
“And mine!” Stan put in as soon as he got into the room.
“And there will be no food for you tonight!”
Yeah! Like there was last night!” She quipped.
“What was that? Are you getting smart with me again?” Stan approached her like a maniac, his ear wrapped in bandage. He planted his fist in her abdomen once more and Phoebe was out of breath.
He enjoyed seeing her in pain and he punched her some more laughing hard.
Tears were streaking down her face as she had experienced enough physical pain to last her for a lifetime.
He put his hands around her waist and pulled her closer to him. Phoebe struggled hard and tried to kick him. Only one kick reached target, but had no real effect.
“Ok! Ok, that’s enough! Stan stop!” Gabe interrupted him. “You don’t want to kill her!” He said nervously.
“And why the hell not?” Phoebe heard him retort.
“Because we haven’t had our fun yet!” He suggested and Stan finally gave in.
Gabe pushed a burger towards her face.
“Now, eat!” He instructed.
“No, thanks. I think I just lost my appetite!” She answered.
“Eat or you will regret it!” He threatened her.
Phoebe allowed him to come closer and give her a bite. Then two, three till there was no burger left. She knew she was hungry but she had not intended to let it show that much. Gabe stretched back and looked at her.
“Good! Aren’t you feeling better?” He asked a little too politely.
PhoebeÂ’s head was spinning. Her eyesight was becoming blurry. She couldnÂ’t focus her eyes. She just let them wander disoriented along the room. The taste in her mouth was unbearable. The burger had some kind of drug inside.
She was too hungry to notice the difference in taste. And she was paying the price for her stupidity.

“What have you done to me?” She whispered. Her strength was leaving her.

She was almost asleep as she heard him say.
“Ah, nothing. Just putting you to sleep a little so we can get to work!”

Phoebe in Borderland – Part Six

The girl with the chestnut hair blinked weakly. She was feeling so disoriented, she didnÂ’t know whether she was on the ceiling or the floor. The only thing she knew with absolute certainty was that she was in terrible pain and that it didnÂ’t smell of alcohol anymore. There was no humidity either.

Her hazel eyes widened in horror as she realized that she had been moved to another place. She was not in the horrible cellar anymore but most importantly this time she was lying on her back.
She was no longer in a standing position. She had been carefully placed on a double bed with unclean sheets.
Phoebe shivered at the meaning of this.
“Phase two!”, she thought. After hitting me and drugging me it was time for a little sex!
Her arms and legs were stretched out on the bed, tied at each corner of the bed. She lifted her head to see exactly what was around and immediately understood it was a bad idea. Her head was a mess. A throbbing headache brought tears to her eyes.
Her mouth tasted horribly. Nausea was the prevalent feeling of her internals, making her feel sick.
She knew the drug hadnÂ’t worn off yet, completely. She had to be patient and wait until all her senses returned to their normal level of acuteness.
The only thing that comforted her was the fact that she was alone in the room. For now. And she had to exploit these precious moments she was alone, in order to familiarize herself with the space and the surroundings. Only by knowing the room like the back of her hand, could she stand a chance of ridding herself of them.
On her left there was some sort of a bedside table with a tray on it. A tray with a mug of coffee and some bread. “Gee, that was a nice way to start your morning! If you were not tied up and could actually get your hands on them!” Phoebe thought.
She wandered an impatient look around the room and decided that it was the bedroom of an ordinary- looking house. There was nothing special about the furniture or the decoration. If Phoebe wasnÂ’t that bad, maybe she would even think it was decorated with good taste!
The window was open, letting in light as well as breeze and it lent a certain optimistic touch to the atmosphere.

The breeze however, was making her feel cold. She wondered at this, since apart from her mini skirt, her leather top did not leave her waist uncovered. That is when she noticed that her top was unzipped, leaving her skin and bra showing.
She trembled at the thought of anyone of them having touched her while she was unconscious and drugged. Taking a look at her legs, though, she figured that they hadnÂ’t touched her that way yet. Her legs were still wounded and bruised, with dry streaks of blood making their way from her thighs to her toes.
Oh, yeah! They wouldnÂ’t rape her while she was knocked out. This way they would miss all the fun!
She closed her eyes in an attempt to block the images of violence that her vivid imagination flooded her with.
These three men did not deserve to be called men. They were fierce animals. They were three beasts with only a veil of humanity, their appearance, to conceal their brutality. And as every predator they wouldnÂ’t stop till the heart of their prey stopped beating and its blood spilt out.
Oh how she wanted her family close to her now. How she longed for the soothing touch of her sisters. In this misfortune, she was alone. She alone had to go through this and if she survived it, to carry the painful and unbearable memory of it all.
She wasnÂ’t strong. She knew that now. She was weak. It had been difficult to come to terms with that, but Phoebe finally realized it.
Prue was the strong sister. She never lost her composure. Phoebe had never seen her cry. Not once. Not even on the anniversary of their motherÂ’s death. Phoebe admired her for that. Even if the whole world collapsed around her, Prue would still find the strength and spirit to think of a solution.
Surely, she wouldnÂ’t cry if she were in PhoebeÂ’s shoes right now. She would stay calm and collected until she came up with a way to free herself.
And what was Phoebe doing? She was crying and whining all the time, falling into their every trap. She was so careless and stupid! She gave in to her hunger and ate that hamburger, though she should have known it was a trick!
A tear made its way down PhoebeÂ’s cheek as she continued her thoughts.
And Piper? She was so sweet, so vulnerable! It was hard for her to reach a conclusion or a decision, but when she decided, her decision would be the right one. She didnÂ’t make any mistakes. Piper would never accept a job at the bar and she would never have agreed to be the last one to lock the bar. She would know it would be dangerous, after everything that had happened with that man.
Phoebe knew she had let them down so many times. She was never correct in her judgments and decisions and the courses of action she chose were not what her sisters would choose to do. And her sisters wouldnÂ’t put their lives in danger, unlessÂ…. Well, unless their sister was in danger!
The words came out of her mouth with such easiness that it surprised her. Her sistersÂ’ actions were more comprehensible now. They were strict, solemn but only to promote her safety. Maybe they didnÂ’t understand Phoebe completely, but they did care for her.
Maybe what happened to her has happened to them, too. Maybe, they, too, believe she doesnÂ’t care for them. They always scolded her, but only when it came to her safety or future.
Of course, she couldnÂ’t live the life they wanted her to live, but she could be more careful. Their words, their expressions were lucid now.
Phoebe understood their concern about her wild character. It was her character what had led her here. But, it wasnÂ’t really her fault it happened. It wasnÂ’t her fault she was kidnapped. It could happen to anyone. Only she could have prevented it perhaps, if she was more careful!
“Oh, Prue! Piper! How much I need you now. How much I want to hear your voices, even for the last time, even if it is to hear you scold me. I wouldn’t care as long as I heard your voices, as long as I could detect your concern and love, yes love in them”.
But Prue and Piper did not know anything about her kidnapping. And God! It was 10/27. One day to PrueÂ’s birthday. One more birthday card that would arrive with two weeks delay or never! Phoebe thought.
Would they give up on her one more time? Would they think that Phoebe was too selfish to remember their birthdays? She remembered how she waited for them to invite her to the manor when she was away. At first, they would ask her to return home where they could take care of her and protect her, but she didnÂ’t return. She wanted to see if she could make it on her own.
And as for her birthdays? Well, they always remembered hers. They would always call her first thing in the morning. That is whenever they had her phone number. Phoebe had most of the times thought that they called her so early, just to take it out of the way so they can get on with the rest of the day.

But now, she could see it was out of concern and love. They called her first thing in the morning, because they had been thinking of her throughout the night. They wanted to be the first to show their love and interest, no matter how far she was. Phoebe could see that now and it made her feel so ashamed.
“If I survive this, I will make you so proud of me! I promise! I will make it up to you! If only I get the chance, I won’t let you down this time!”. Phoebe made a silent promise to herself and her sisters.

Phoebe in Borderland - Part Seven

Phoebe heard the lock turn and the door soon opened, revealing a shaved Gabe.
He was holding a tray in his hand and after closing the door behind him, he took a seat next to her. His sight made her wanna scream. She bit her lips trying to remain calm. Like Prue would be.
“Morning, doll! How are you feeling today?” He chuckled.
Phoebe just stared at him, hoping all her hatred and disgust would show.
“I asked you something, doll. When I ask you something you will answer me, do you hear?” Gabe shouted and lifted his hand to threaten her with a slap.
“How do you think I am? I am tied up and I haven’t eaten properly for days. Oh and when I eat, it is drugs!” Phoebe quipped, not being able to help it.
Gabe looked at her for a few moments and smiled to himself. Maybe he was having fun with all this.
“Well, doll. You shouldn’t complain cause I’ve brought you fresh food now! See, how polite I can be? How can you resist me” He told her lowering his head on her exposed bosom.
Phoebe felt his breath wander all over her chest and prayed he wouldnÂ’t strip her off her clothes yet. She wouldnÂ’t be able to stand it. She remained completely still and sucked in her breath.
Gabe kissed and licked the upper part of her breasts as they were left uncovered from her bra. He smiled as he felt her shiver under his touch.
“What did he think? That she shivered out of longing? For god’s sake, she hated him. It was out of disgust!”
“Take your filthy hands off me!” She yelled. “You have no right to touch me like that! Get off me!”
Gabe slowly lifted his head and looked into her eyes.
“Come doll. We both know you want this! It is not like you haven’t done it before, now is it?”
His question shocked her and startled her. What did he think that she wanted this to happen? That she held her breath hoping he would kidnap her while she was locking the door?
“I am not a virgin, if that is what you mean, but that doesn’t mean I sleep around with every man I see. Is that what you tell yourself, to make you feel better, when the girls you capture beg to be released? Do you tell yourself they are trash to justify your actions, you sick bastard? Well, I won’t give you the satisfaction! You make me sick!”
Gabe slapped her hard and it was fortunate that she was still a little dizzy from the drug. She couldnÂ’t feel the full extent of the pain, running through her whole body.
“You bitch! You don’t answer back to me! Do you understand?”
Phoebe nodded not wanting to have any more of that.
“That’s my girl. Now, I would love to stay here and have a little fun, but the boys will be mad at me. You see I promised I wouldn’t touch you before they came back from work. And what friend would I be if I didn’t keep my promice?”
He asked her, as if any of his words made any sense.
“And what kind of a person does holding a woman here, against her will, make you?” She asked him, praying he would come to his senses, even now. All she wanted was get out of there. She would go away and not look back if her let her.
“Don’t be smart with me, Phoebe! I didn’t keep you in the basement for three days, feed you and carry you to my house, only to leave you now. Just for the heck of it! Now eat!” He said, pushing the tray in front of her.

It was a hamburger and a glass of water.
Gee, that was royal feast! Phoebe thought sarcastically!
“It would be better if you untied me. It is not like I am going anywhere!” She urged him.
If he would let her loose, she would find a way to trick them into allowing her to escape.
To her surprise, Gabe actually started untying her and Phoebe couldnÂ’t be happier. She was too dizzy to do anything to him, but soon she would feel better.
“Ok, but behave! If you try anything stupid you will regret it!” Gabe warned her as he left the room, locking the door.
Phoebe was alone in the room. She made an attempt to move her wrists and ankles, but they were very sore. They hurt so much it burned.
She took a look at the new tray that had replaced the previous one. Maybe they were expecting her to wake up earlier in the morning. But she didnÂ’t.
And now, Gabe was waiting for his friends to come from work.
Oh, God! He brought her lunch! That could only mean, that it wouldnÂ’t be long till his dreadful friends returned!
The hamburger smelled so good. Phoebe wanted to devour it. But she knew better than that. She would be better off hungry yet safe than fed but easy prey.
She decided to not eat the burger even if her stomach was killing her. She wouldnÂ’t let them drug her again. All her senses had to be in perfect condition if she wanted to avoid her rape and abuse when the three of them would come in the room with nothing but their lust and whips.
She decided to drink the water instead. Thirst was even more unbearable and water could give her some strength to fight.
She drank the water quickly and sat back on the bed, hoping the drug would soon wear off.
Her mind traveled to her sisters again, hoping that they would be safe and never learn of this. Phoebe couldnÂ’t bear it if they ever risked their lives for her. She wasnÂ’t worth it. She hadnÂ’t been good to them and if anything happened to them she wouldnÂ’t want to continue living.
After the loss of her mother, her father and her grandmother she had experienced enough loss. She couldnÂ’t stand to lose a sister, especially if she was to blame for it.
Staring at the ceiling she prayed and prayed, waiting for her eyesight to become less blurry. But it didnÂ’t. The minutes passed and her eyesight became even blurrier.

And then it hit her. They were too smart for her. They had tricked her once more. The drug was not in the burger this time. It was in the water. They must laugh at how predictable she was. She would be their joke! How could she have been so stupid?
Everything that would happen to her now, she wouldnÂ’t be able to stop it.
She would remain helpless.
Then the door opened and Phoebe opened her eyes wide to see who it was. It couldnÂ’t be them! It was too soon! Or wasnÂ’t it? It was with terror that she made out two figures.
She still couldnÂ’t make out most of their features, but the figures kept approaching her. She didnÂ’t know whether she should be thankful for letting her see them or afraid of what would happen to her. All she knew was that she couldnÂ’t live with the doubt.
Why werenÂ’t they speaking? How much more did they want her to suffer?
Then the figures stood above her, but Phoebe felt too weak to stand up. But these figures looked familiar.
The chestnut hair, the hazel eyes, a lot like her own. She would recognize these persons anywhere and under any circumstances. Even if she was drugged as she was.
“Prue? Piper?” She managed to utter, amazed.

Phoebe in Borderland – Part Eight

PhoebeÂ’s head was spinning. Her eyesight was so blurry she didnÂ’t trust herself. She waited a response from them. Were they her sisters or was it just a sick joke the three men were playing on her.

She felt like she was pinned to the bed. There was no way she could get up no matter how hard she tried. So, they just had to get closer. She waited patiently.

“Phoebe? Oh my God? What have they done to you?” She heard Piper’s voice, while Prue’s voice did not take long to be heard, either.
“Jesus, Phoebe! What have these men done to you?”
Phoebe grinned. It was them. They were here, next to her, just like she had envisioned it. But could this be true?
“Prue? Piper? I don’t understand! How did you get here? How did you get in? Gabe is out there, did he see you coming in?”
Prue approached her and put her hand on her forehead. “Shhhh!” she urged her to be quiet.
“Does it matter? Aren’t you happy we are here?”
PhoebeÂ’s head was feeling so dizzy, she couldnÂ’t think straight.
“Of course! But, you came here all the way from San Francisco for me? What about your birthday, Prue?”
Prue smiled.
“Now, is that so hard to believe? You know we love you, Phoebe! And my birthday… Well, I never really celebrated my birthday. I never thought it was a big deal! My sisters are more important!”
“Yes! Phoebe. All that matters is that we have come to get you out of here!” Piper stressed looking in her eyes.
Phoebe started crying. Her sisters were here! They have come to her even though it was so dangerous.
Even though she was nothing but mean to them for the past few months. Still, they found love in their hearts for her.
“Please, sweetie! Don’t cry! I can’t watch you cry! We are getting you out of here!” Prue put in.
“Can you walk?” Piper asked her.
“Phoebe nodded ’no’. It would be really hard for her to walk. She couldn’t even sit up.
“I’m sorry! I am so sorry…” Phoebe started saying among her sobs. “It’s all my fault!”. She couldn’t even look her sisters in the eyes.
“Don’t! Phoebe don’t! What are you apologizing for? Nothing of this is your fault. You didn’t ask for this to happen.” Prue reassured her.
“Yes, Phoebe! You didn’t bring this to yourself! It’s not like you provoked them! Men like him don’t need an excuse. They just do what they do and they don’t care if it is right or wrong!” Piper said.
The young girl, found the courage to look into their eyes. She could sense their trust. They trusted her. For a minute she had thought, that maybe they would believe that the whole situation was somehow her fault.
They had always told her she was wild and she had to slow down a little bit. She had gotten herself into trouble before. She was caught stealing from a store. A stupid pair of shoes!
Phoebe didnÂ’t even know why she had done that. She didnÂ’t even like the shoes that much.
It was just a way to feel alive. To feel free. That she was her own person. She felt a little guilt, as she remembered that at that time she did want to provoke her grandmother a little bit.
Oh, she was so mean to them when she got back. When the police officer got her back, that is. She waited to see their faces.
And she put herself another face on as well. The face of the cynical, hopeless Phoebe.

She was a bit antagonistic. She never did what she was told. Especially if it was grams who instructed her.
She knew it in her heart that she had let them down. She had disappointed them in so many ways! But, still they came. They came even if it cost them their lives.
Phoebe didnÂ’t know if it was fortunate that they came to her rescue.
They might end up dead, along with her. And if that happened nothing would ever matterÂ…
She tried to lift her hand to touch them, too.
The whole time she remained motionless and silent, Prue and Piper were silent as well. It was as if they knew she needed some time to think.
“I am so sorry! I’ve let you down so many times. Why don’t you just go? Go while you still have the chance! Save yourselves.
Even if you call the police they might kill me, long before they got here. And if you stay, you will be in danger, too!” She tried to convince them.
“No! Shhhh! Don’t say that Phoebe. You know we love you! We might have gotten a little angry with you, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love you! You do understand that, don’t you?” Prue asked her.
Phoebe looked away.

“Oh, God! You really don’t, do you? You honestly thought we don’t love you anymore? Why Phoebe?” Piper asked her. It was obvious that she didn’t understand.
“I let you down so many times. And… And I have treated you so bad. I never paid any attention to you! I‘ve been nothing but trouble! How can you love me?”
Both her sisters kneeled next to the bed and embraced her.
“Baby, we all make mistakes. When our mother died, we struggled to get our life back on track. And it was hard work! We had no one but grams to turn to.
We were just kids, Phoebe. And you were just a toddler. You didn’t understand how hard it was. Maybe we had become a little cynical. Maybe we were a bit hard on you sometimes…” Prue confessed, “But it was only because we really hadn’t adjusted to the situation either. You needed a mother and she wasn’t there.
All you had was two sisters who weren’t sure what they were doing themselves. How could we have guided you correctly?”
“Yes, Phoebe! If we were hard on you, it was only because there was no instructions book on how to raise your orphan baby sister.
We were just kids ourselves and we were forced to act as adults. This made us feel bad. Maybe we were bitter, because we didnÂ’t get the chance to live our lives like most of the children around us who had both their parents. But, none of it was your fault.
Maybe exactly because we were forced to act as adults, we were expecting you to do the same. But it was harder for you. You had no happy childhood memories with mom to hold on to. You only had us and we were always busy! I am so sorry!” Piper whispered.

Phoebe opened her eyes wide. This was all she had ever needed to hear. That they loved her and that they never gave up on her.
That they understood she was making mistakes out of her despair and that they forgave her.
“Do you know how much I love you? Do you know how much I have waited and prayed for you to say those words? I thought you had given up on me. That you thought I wouldn’t amount to anything and never expected me to do something noteworthy!”
Phoebe admitted, her voice trembling with emotion.

“No!” Prue put her finger on Phoebe’s mouth. “Don’t ever say that again!” she shouted.
“We have always loved you. We never stopped. Even at the times you said you disappointed us. We never gave up on you.
And we certainly never thought you wouldnÂ’t amount to anything!Â’
“Yes, Phoebe! We love you so much! Our hearts are filled with love for you. We could never give up on you! And you know what? We were always expecting you to call from here, just to tell us that you did it! That you have finally found what you have been searching for and that you are happy now.
That would have made us happy, too! I always believed you would do something special with yourself. And you will. You will see!
You just had some setbacks. Don’t give up. Just try again!” Piper was so touched.
And her words had such a huge impact on Phoebe. She felt so relieved. So loved. If she died right now, she wouldnÂ’t care. For she would be happy.
“Yes, sweetie. We will help you improve your life as soon as we get you out of this. Just trust me!”
“I believe you, Prue! But they have guns. You can’t beat guns. Just leave. Now! Remember that I love you!” Phoebe whispered.
“No! We will not leave you!” Piper shouted.
Suddenly there was a lot of noise coming from outside the room. Gabe and his friends were back. It was time for the final chapter of this tragedy.
A tragedy that would leave a bittersweet taste in Phoebe. She knew there was no way she could get out of this. It was inevitable!
She would probably die. But not before she had shared her feeli